“So it’s true, when all is said and done, grief is the price we pay for love.”
― E.A. Bucchianeri
A very tragic occasion made me write this article.
When I started typing I didn’t know what words to use to express the grief and the incredibility I feel. I needed words to be good enough for all those beautiful souls the world has lost and also for those whose lives have changed forever because of one man with a weapon he couldn’t handle. Or well, handled it too good.
I didn’t know if “occasion” was the right word. “Incidence” is too small, “mass shooting” used to often and not emotional enough.
I don’t think that there are right words for what happened in Orlando. No word good enough for the victims and no word being close and emotional enough to how everyone must have felt in that club.
We simply can’t imagine.
Yes it’s tragic, but it’s also cruel and senseless and pointless and it’s awful and scary and disappointing and impossible and disgusting…I don’t know, I don’t find enough words.
I used a lot of “I don’t know”s, because I actually don’t know. I don’t know and I cannot understand.
I wanted to write about the gun laws in the U.S., but this is not the time for it.
Because I have always though that these laws kill and don’t protect. Everyone does.
We all know the incredible stories. Children dying, people crying…one shooting here and one there-like it’s part of a normal life. Which is not the case.
The USA are lucky enough to have peace, so people shouldn’t be endangered by their neighbors, because they are in a bad mood and happen to have a gun.
But anyway, that’s not what I want to talk about.
I want to talk about love.
Just an hour ago I saw that sign with the two men holding guns and two men holding hands.
And it is a really good question.
Would you rather see two men die than feeling love and spreading love?
These men are someones sons. Someones best friends and someones soul mates .
They didn’t choose to be “different” and they didn’t hurt anyone by loving whoever they wanted to love.
Would you want your son or daughter or best friend or dog to be harmed and killed just because it happens that they are gay?
We should be happy and thankful for these people, that are brave enough to stand out and be who they truly are instead of hiding from the world. No one should be forced to hide their love.
If we all did that, it would be an even colder,lonelier and more cruel world than it already is.
Love is not a sin.
I understand when some things make some people feel uncomfortable-it might be hard for some people to understand because they were raised differently.
But how can you generally hate love? Decide that it’s wrong?
At the end of the day it is all just the same.
How can one decide to go somewhere where there are only people he/she hates to kill them? Just out of hatred?
Because I am pissed or I am having a bad day or maybe because I am scared and don’t have a clue what people are thinking? Why would I do that? Life is so much easier when you love instead of hate. Hatred sucks in a lot of your energy.
It’s not that people are gay or heterosexual or transsexual to annoy anyone.
It’s not like waking up and being like “hey, I know is homophobic so I should go and become gay -just to piss him off. ”
We have love for our husbands and wives and children and dogs and our friends and family. We know love or at least we’ve heard about it.
So how can one decide that one kind of love is wrong?
I don’t believe that there is someone out there who has never felt the littlest bit of love for something or someone.
Probably the only thing who will forever be a bestseller and never old fashioned.
We all look for it and need it and give it.
I have a friend who is gay who had to face such discrimination it is upsetting.
When I say that it was upsetting, I mean that it was upsetting for me. I don’t even know how he handled it.
Another friend of mine is bisexual and was told that he is disgusting and asked if it wasn’t possible for him to be “healed”.
Well, homophobia can be treated.
Is that how you treat people?
They go home, feeling like shit, like they don’t deserve love or something went wrong with them. Bullshit.
Of course they deserve as much love as any of us.
Can you imagine that being homosexual or bisexual was just a normal thing back in ancient Greece?
I am impressed how good mankind is at taking backward steps.
Love is not a sin.
Love cannot be a sin, and never will be.
Love is never wrong.
Love is never something you should have to earn like trust and respect.
Love is a thing that should be shared with everyone and given to everyone and also be accepted from anyone.
Love cannot be explained or understood.
But most of all,
Love is not a thing you can control.
I feel anger.
Yeah I think right now what I feel most of all is anger and that certain kind of sadness when you know that you cannot turn back time and you don’t know what could have been if…
I hate this question.
I don’t want to sound cheesy. But sadly I do.
I don’t want it to look just like something normal. Because it is not. It has a meaning.
But then also I don’t want to sound like I have the slightest clue what the people in Orlando are feeling right now or what the victims felt, because that would be disrespectful and presumptuous.
I guess all I want to say is, that I share your pain and I am with you.
So today I want to share my love with all of you and with everyone.
Especially I want to send my love to all the people who have lost one love in the “Pulse” and to those who have lost self confidence and confidence in the “Pulse”. Love to all those who had to suffer things I can not even imagine.
I send love and strength to all the people who decide to not lose faith and those who think they’ve lost it.
I send love to people who think they don’t deserve it, and love to those who think they are alone.
I send love to everyone. Stranger or not.
And I hope you guys help me spread more love.
Trying to grow and to learn from tragedies like this and love even harder and with every single piece of your heart.